19 Years Without You, Pa

Today is October 15th, a day that is “good and bad” for me every year. It’s bad because my beloved grandfather Terrence Barton Kelly, passed away in 2003. But it’s also good because his memory is alive in me. Today was my grandparents’ wedding anniversary.

I am thinking about him a lot today, and his loss is one that is still very hard all these years later.

Also today, I was on the blog tour for Suzanne Rogerson’s , Love, Loss and Life In Between: A Short Story Collection. I specifically chose to post on this day as the book is poignant and about what the title says. Therefore, I knew if I did that today, a day which already has a lot of meaning for me, it would have even more.

I’m proud to be Terrence Kelly’s granddaughter. I will never forget him.

Pregnancy and Infant Loss Awareness Day 2021: My Story

Today is Pregnancy and Infant Loss awareness day and it’s the first time I’ve blogged about it. I’m surprised about this because I have talked about many aspects of my life here. I’m not a mother myself yet and have been told by medical professionals that could be possible with specialist care and lots and lots of physical support but do have my own story about infant loss.

On 22 December 1981 at Kingston Hospital in the South London borough of Kingston upon Thames, England. I entered the world with my identical twin sister Natalie.

From that moment, our fight to stay in the world began. We were moved to another hospital hours after being born.

We had numerous complications from premature birth and our lives were in constant danger of being lost. We fought for survival together for nine days until Natalie passed away.

I continued my fight alone, and came home.

Life with my disabilities is full of challenges and all through my life I asked myself what made me survive. I believe Natalie had some part in the fact I am here today and she passed her strength to me. She lives through me.

Everything I have done in life, every special occasion, I’d wish she was there with me. I felt like she was. When I have doubted things, been scared or happy I knew she was protecting me.

I would have loved for her to survive and for us to have experienced many of the “this could only happen to an identical twin” moments that other twins I’ve known have experienced.

What would we have gone through? I’ll never know and can only speculate but I do know those 9 days with Natalie were a gift to me although I have no memory of them.

The time between our birthday and her death will always be difficult for me but for me on a personal level and also because of the time of year it is.

My family never stopped celebrating our birthday because of grief and painful memories when I was young and while I lived with them and now I’m married, I still celebrate it, Christmas and New Year. It’s a time of hope and new beginnings, too.

It’s a gift to know Natalie was in the world.

What happened to Natalie has taught me that from tragedy, other things can happen and if we hadn’t have been born together I wouldn’t be here.

Even though I never knew Natalie, I have loved her my whole life and will never stop loving her. She gained her angel wings in 1981 but to me she is always here.

Although Infant Loss Awareness Day is a sad one, it’s also a time to feel happy about those who were in the world for even a short time, as every life is a blessing.

If you have experience of infant loss, my thoughts are with you today and always.

The Glitter Notebook Turns 1

Today is a really special day, because my blog, The Glitter Notebook, is a year old
 I used to have blogs on many different subjects on Blogger which I was feeling very ambitious about. Soon however, it seemed that I was being way too ambitious and this is when I thought of combining everything I am passionate about in one blog so that everything is all under one roof. This has turned out to be a good idea, and while I have not so far managed to stick entirely to my 2016 New Year’s resolution that I would write on my blog every day, I feel that I have come pretty close so far to making that a reality. I am happy with the fact that I do work on some kind of writing project every day, even at the weekends.
Looking back through my posts today, I see that I have created the varied blog that I always wanted, with make up, book and beauty product reviews, details of the challenges that I do, as well as my thoughts and experiences as I go through life.
Lastly, I’d like to thank each and every one of my followers on this blog and say that primarily I blog for myself, but also because I know that you like my content.
 If you are reading this and you haven’t followed my blog yet, please feel free to do so.

Sunday with a Sassy Shopaholic: Happy Easter From a struggling chocoholic

Today is Easter day. Happy Easter! 

I was remembering childhood Easters from times past and thought of all the family gatherings we had (usually at my grandparents’- now gran’s house) in Buckinghamshire. The memories came to me probably because I am always thinking of writing  projects, and especially now, with Camp NaNoWriMo a mere 5 days away. My Easters were filled with chocolate eggs given by family and my parents. 

On Easter morning, parents would always lay the Easter eggs out at mine and my sister’s places ar the breakfast table so that the large chocolate eggs in their cardboard boxes with logos of Cadbury’s or NestlĂ© chocolate on them. My favourites by far were Dairy Milk and Galaxy. Also the Caramel varieties of each (the sweeter the better!)  The rest of Easter day was usually spent with my grandparents, aunts uncles and cousins. There would be a lovely meal laid out by my gran, and my aunts and mum would help her in the kitchen. There’d also be a variety of desserts. There would also always be an Easter egg hunt. This was supposed to be fun but only ended up being awkward for me as my CP held me back no matter how quick I wanted to be to “find” the eggs. Not only was I the last to find eggs, but my eyesight stopped me from seeing them. So much so I had to get others to pick out any stray egg they could find for me. I would also breathe a sigh of relief when the egg hunt was over and find eating the eggs was the best part! 

As Easters went by, I became less interested in the egg hunt and did not expect gifts, but instead got money some years or clothes others: something I could use.  I would occasionally buy “chocolate” scented shower gels, soaps or candles as a better, calorie- free way to enjoy what was once my weakness. 

Now, at 34, I found I was surprised when a parcel came through the post with Cadbury’s chocolate and Maltesers. Mum had remembered what I like. Alfredo and I have a way to make it last, and it’s nice to taste this chocolate after so long. My period as a chocoholic came to an abrupt halt when I was at my GP surgery years ago, getting a blood test for something different. It turns out my triglicerides had skyrocketed. After some time on medication, they went down to normal levels. I didn’t like dark chocolate for years, but have got used to it and like it now. I only eat it now and then but my body is thanking me for it.  Weeks ago, I bought Favorina Jelly Sweets from Lidl to try them. They had a lot of suger on them and I found they had no flavour barely. 

Have you ever had to make sacrifices related to chocolate at Easter? If so leave what you did in the comments. 

This week, I stocked up on 2 pots of Soft Moisturising Cream by Lidl so they are my purchases for the week.